2: Notes from Nowhere
Being alone in the void isn’t all bad.
I have my friend, Pony, at least. From this day forth he will be known as Void Pony.
I wrote a song that made brave use of microtonal dissonance, but it turns out my guitar was just out of tune.
It was only a matter of time, though. An inevitable and cold feeling has been tugging at me. It points only one way, wants only one thing: to venture out.
(Sorry if I’m being dramatic with my imagery, by the way. I’m literally surrounded by an endless voidscape of nothingness and silence so, you know – it’s going to happen).
Anyway, there I was, the lone hero in a lonely universe, ready to step out into the abyss.
I thought maybe I’d fall.
I thought maybe I’d float.
I thought maybe I’d freeze.
But no, I just wandered. Time and space are inapplicable. I don’t know how far I went or how long I roamed. It felt surreal and tragic.
When my candle was halfway gone, I turned around.
Not that it mattered – a candle can’t light the way when there’s no way to light. I suppose I liked it for the company, the reminder that something exists within nonexistence with me.
If you can read this, check this blog again in a few days. Keep existing. I'll keep not existing. And maybe we can meet somewhere, here, in the middle.
Kind of an annoying day today. The world was finally sick of my nonsense, so it left.
I stared out my bedroom window.
Where there used to be chickadees and recycling bins there was now only a dreamless abyss.
I tried to google “the world’s gone how to get it back” but, wouldn’t you know it, no internet.
I played with that little jumping dinosaur, but eventually he, too, ran away – even the cacti couldn’t stop him.
I read for a while. Practiced guitar. My mind wandered.
If the world’s gone, is that writing assignment still due on Thursday?
It’s astounding that, even with no outside world, one can feel anxious. There exists nothing to fear whatsoever, and yet fear remains. Untethered, unreasoning. Anxiety only wears circumstance as a mask – when circumstance is gone, it remains, naked.
Should I … be doing something? Should I wait here? Will it come back?
There’s a part of me, a vicious little nagging thing, that wants to reject the world that rejected me.
To hell with it.
Good riddance. I didn’t like it anyway.
Too much suffering. Too much poverty. Season 5 of Rake was weak.
I’m better alone.
...but maybe next week I’ll try going for a walk. You know, just to see.
I don't mean to blag, but I've got a pretty good brog.