In vain I feign inebriation;
Its thinning spell no longer wins
My thoughts from me. The sky begins
To brighten in anticipation.
I slip down to the sinking shore
And ponder my emancipation.
My mind will find another cause,
My heart will find another love,
While the crushing waters shove
These ones down into death’s jaws;
A memory, a sorry sore
To rank among my ranker flaws.
Cold seas fold these wonders, and
Offer them more than I’d done:
An eternal safe belonging. None
Who dive for them could understand
Their lifeless gaze, their final breath
Held in my thoughts, lost under sand.
I sigh a lie, “I tried,” and wade,
Then swim off from the shaking isle
Which groans, and loses mile by mile.
Forget the promises I’ve made,
Forgive my lonely flight from death;
I was afraid, I’m still afraid.
All is betrayed, is still –